From quinn@fazigu.org Sun Mar 23 11:09:57 2003 Return-path: Envelope-to: quinn@fazigu.org Received: from constr1-host1.corridor.net ([66.100.236.130] helo=yami.57thstreet.com) by requiem with smtp (Exim 3.36 #1 (Debian)) id 18x82m-0007oC-00 for ; Sun, 23 Mar 2003 11:09:56 -0500 Received: (qmail 2766 invoked from network); 23 Mar 2003 16:14:10 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO moo.ghostmoo.org) (127.0.0.1) by localhost with SMTP; 23 Mar 2003 16:14:10 -0000 Date: Sun, 23 Mar 2003 10:14:10 -0400 From: "Quinn@Ghostwheel" To: quinn@fazigu.org Subject: Ghostwheel Message(s) 55 from *storylines (#5236) X-Mail-Agent: Ghostwheel (moo.ghostmoo.org 6969) Message-Id: Status: RO Content-Length: 3365 Lines: 69 Message 55 from *storylines (#5236): Date: Thu Jan 30 23:20:29 2003 EST From: Elendil (#2237) To: Elendil (#2237) and *storylines (#5236) Subject: Why, it's the latest edition of the ~*Ghostwheel 'Weekly' Journal*~ Putting the Yellow Back in Journalism ________________ Report Your Neighbors Phantom of the Ghostwheel Strikes Again Stryker's Bend (AP) - Witnesses report that the mysterious Phantom of the Ghostwheel struck again recently, emerging from an old well near the Tinderbox and making off with a buxom young female adventurer before her compatriots could even respond. Later, strains of ominious and unearthly piano music were heard from deep inside a nearby mansion where the hideously scarred fiend is reputed to make his home. Local legend has it the ghastly apparition, Wendigo-mauled visage concealed behind a parlour mask, seeks revenge for his disfigurement from only the most attractive and nubile young women. "No comment!" shouted the owner of the nearby Tinderbox when asked if he had any knowledge of or ties to the fiend. "No freakin' comment!" Dakirion 1st Quarter Profits Plunge 540% On Failed Returns From Yak Recomb Program Jizo Island (Reuters) - CFO Kanashimi Yamano announced at Darkirion's 1st Quarter Finance junket that the company was forced to take a $530,000,000 newdollar charge against losses from its Recombinant DNA Labs. "Unfortunately domestic sales of our Yak recomb program fell below expectations, while military sales were even less impressive. For some reason our Yak and Large Land Mammal Program was unable to generate the 'buzz' necessary to ship units. The Program has been terminated, along with any units remaining in stock, and resources turned to our Slug & Invertebrate Recomb Division. No questions, no questions." Crystal Hunter Union Issues Statement Decrying Loss of Wasteland Habit Wasteland Gates (AP) - Crystal Hunter Local 405 issued a press statement yesterday decrying the loss of pristine wasteland habit inside the Barrier Wall. "In a recent survey of the area around Ranger Tango alone, units located 2 abandoned Soulmechs, 4 calcified slisssh remains, a boot, 6 used condoms, a big steel door, 3 'hidden' bunkers, an airplane hangar, a buried museum, a gas station, a drunken submariner, 159 rotting oranges, a bowling ball, a large leaking nuclear plant, a hobo, a burnt out newspaper office, 19 different tents, a pair of dog tags, three empty beer cans, and a love letter from one 'Naxos' to a 'Sir Sugarpants'. This reckless and uncontrolled pollution will surely ruin our crisp, pristine wasteland, and must be resisted so that future generations can enjoy its endless burning expanse unspoilt." XXXXXXXXXX PERSONALS XXXXXXXXX SFDR w/OFD seeks SMDR w/SMD for long walks on the beach, Sarkus, raising egg clutches, maybe more. SMS seeks SFS. Me: blue skinned, blue eyed. You: blue-green skinned, silver eyed, able to hold breath for 45 minutes. RSU #4 seeks Phoenix AA:463a Auxiliary Pack for Devastator Minigun. Interested sellers please go to NGC Park Annex and hold face in front of thin red beam. Editoral - "Our Children Have Too Many Heavy Machineguns" - B2 Lifestyles - "Recomb Scorpion Balances Career, 2506 Broodlings" - C7 Sports - "R/T Hooligans trounce BadmintonGameMasters 5-3 In Quarterfinal Action" - D3 --------------------------